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The Edge of April

by Gollay

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1.
I’m looking forward to a year of burning out I’m looking forward to a year of beaming signals from the ground I don’t believe you when you say the well’s gone dry Not when you’re everything that fills the field That blooms before my eyes I’m optimistic but then time is running out She’ll make demands of you, the unrelenting wave Then breaks the plans with you and asks you why you had to up and change A hundred roses on the edge of April She’s peeling an orange on the fire escape I’m optimistic but then time is running out The world to come is an olive grove
2.
I Want It 04:00
Sitting in the back of the room Everybody’s eyes on you You know I want it I want it Reading what you recommend I could never just pretend You know I want it I want it I could stay online, I’ll stay awake, I’ll stay in my lane But I’m going off the cliff each time I hear you saying my name We’re closer to the end than the beginning To the bend and break Tied up in the back of the car Didn’t mean to drive this far You know I want it Could you see I want it? Water underneath the bridge Was it a push, our was it a slip? I could stay online, I’ll stay awake, I’ll stay in my lane But I crash into the ocean when I hear you calling my name We’re closer to the edge than in the middle To the bend and break Now that you see what you’re up against What’s it gonna take to change your mind? Wish it was easy to forget On borrowed time I could stay online, I’ll stay awake, I’ll stay in my lane But I crash into the ocean when I hear you calling my name We’re closer to the end than the beginning To the bend and break Sitting in the back of the room Everybody’s eyes on you You know I want it
3.
Solstice 03:41
Write down a list of all the things you want to let go of Sign your name and fold it in half Then go to the kitchen and turn on the burner Start at the edges and swallow it whole Hook, line I don’t think the words are all that important It just seems right to keep them all closely contained When the crease on the page is as real as a national border Imagine the world you want but don’t file it away Bind it as a sign like the flickering light of the lonely storefront Before your eyes can adjust to the dark on the longest night From here on out At least all of our days will be longer
4.
Power 05:20
Who has power? Who cut the lights, they’re burning in the day Who blew the marketplace away? Who reads palms? Locks eyes with all the obstacles Whose idea was it anyway? Whiplash I don’t have to wait any longer for this to arrive I can generate my own power Whiplash I don’t have to wait any longer for this to arise I can celebrate my own power Do you ever stop holding hands in public? Hid the blade in your inner pocket Aren’t you proud of all your progress? Aren’t you proud, aren’t you proud? Whiplash I don’t have to wait any longer for this to arrive I can generate my own power Whiplash I don’t have to wait any longer for this to arise I can celebrate my own power My own Who has power? Who cut the lines we buried underground? Who does their wandering aloud? Who reads psalms? Makes laws from lines of poetry Whose idea was it anyway?
5.
Moon Spell 00:43
What does it feel like not to worry? What if I dropped Dropped the story? What if we lost What if we lost the plot? What if this is all we’ve got?
6.
Flyover 02:45
Drive fast past the ruin Flyover country looks like the same as it did before you were born There’s nothing to touch, nothing to spoil Have I said too much? Nothing to spoil What must it be like to live this way For no one’s sake but mine? What must it be like to live this way For no one’s sake Landlocked in the ruin Flyover country Give me strength to return in some other form There’s nothing to touch, nothing to spoil Have I said too much? Nothing to spoil What must it be like to live this way For no one’s sake but mine? What must it be like to live this way For no one’s sake
7.
Call me the Ice Prince Hold me at arm’s length Float me down river and pull me right back in again Sea of reeds and ocean jasper Creeping in low The feeling that we’ve met before Am I to wait? What if you stay? Blossom of the spring unfolding But I’m not your flower Or a test for your honor It’s a delicate power We’re aching just to let it go Not a jewel to hold on to The arrow that found you Piercing the armor Blossom of the spring unfolding Spring unfolding
8.
Ready 03:21
Now Now that you’re ready I see you readjust your sails The dream that flies away Go in for the layup but you could’ve shot the lights out from half court
9.
Guard the tiny ember in your heart Watch over the fire that’s still burning in the dark Peel back every layer and then start again until you notice it The voice that says you’re at home again When there’s nothing up above or below When there’s nothing outside or within you can hold Watch the path in front of you unfold again Spring unfolds again, and it’s guiding you home again There’s no sign along the way Telling you which road you should take Telling you you’ve not been led astray Oh, quiet down Only in the stillness hear the sound Time is not a place that you can go Build it up a temple that is melting with the snow Joining with the current as it flows again into the ocean Let it carry you home again Your own voice is singing you home again
10.
Where do we go from here? The trail is running cold Where do we turn from here? This new fresh hell is getting old This new fresh hell It looks good on you I hope you will invite me Into the room where all this started When you learned to keep your promises Where do we go from here? The trail is getting colder by the day Where do we turn from here? This new fresh hell is getting old enough to name We’ll give it it’s own name
11.
Olive Grove 00:55
The break is an instant and healing’s for life Gather the pieces and stitch up our time The world to come is coming home The world to come is an olive grove The world to come is an olive grove The world to come is coming home All the old names of places restored The world to come is an olive grove

about

The Edge of April is a collection of songs capturing life in contradiction, and what it feels like to exist in moments of transition: the pressure, the inspiration, the doubt, the hope, and the ultimate peace one can find in not knowing.

credits

released March 29, 2024

Songs by Rachel Gollay
Produced, arranged, engineered, and mastered by Russell Jack
Mixed by Nolan Thies
Recorded at RJ Audio, Cloudland Studios, and Sunland Sound
Engineer at Cloudland Studios - Joe Tacke
Engineer at Sunland Sound - Michael Smith
Cover photo by Colton Batts
Artwork and lyric page by Claire Morales

Rachel Gollay - vocals, acoustic and electric guitars
Russell Jack - synth, piano, acoustic and electric guitars, backing vocals, programming, additional percussion
Billy Naylor - bass, backing vocals
Josh Hoover - drum kit
Michael Smith - electric guitars
Joshua Ryan Jones - piano and additional drums
Lauren Jack, Claire Morales, and Audrey Rodriguez - backing vocals
Jay Jennings - trumpet
Nolan Thies - additional bass

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Gollay Fort Worth, Texas

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